Thursday, January 9, 2020

Prophetmaking - Short Story

Prophetmaking A short story



Can this apply to Cats too?  Of course! Read on!

And the Lord brought all of the prophets together.

Each from his place, each from his time, each from his tribe.

And yea, even of different kinds.

And the Lord brought his prophets from all manners of places in the universe.

From worlds of only water, from worlds of only air, and from worlds of land and air and water.

And the Lord brought his prophets from all times, from peoples who were the children of the very first sun and peoples who lived long after the last sun cast its last light.

Each man, woman and intelligent creature stood in the Lord's presence and was awed.

They knew no sense of time, feeling or place.

For it is holy to be in the present of the Lord.

And the Lord looked over the multitudinous crowd of his holy prophets and was pleased.

And each intelligent creature heard a voice, in his own language they heard the words of the Lord.

And what they heard was that they were each chosen from their own time, place and world to bring a message of the Lord to his each own people.

And then a great chatter broke out among the prophets.

Each had the same thought foremost in his or her mind.

"But Lord", each said, in his own language, I am but a common (Man), (Woman), (Creature), (Being), I am not suited for such a great mission.

I have no ambition for either power or glory, Oh nay, My Lord, Pick another more worthy of this great honor!

And the Lord heard each creature and understood him in every language and knew the individual voice of every prophet.

And the Lord noted the plaintive cry of all his prophets and their great woe.

And the Lord showed the prophets as if on a great screen, the job that he had chosen for each and every one.

And each prophet saw the scene, but saw his own world and heard with his own speech and saw the scenes of his own time.

And the the Lord showed the prophets scenes of goodliness, of kindness and of happiness.

And the Lord gave each prophet time to think.

And then the Lord charged unto each prophet his duty, "Each of you I have chosen for my special duty." said the Lord. "You are my holy prophets, you are  consecrated unto Me, I will send each of you back to his people when that people are ready to hear my words and perform my deeds.

And the Lord gave each prophet the gift to Understand.

And the words to speak with his neighbors.

For the Lord thought that discourse between intelligent beings was good.

And each prophet talked to his neighbor and each said the same thing to each other. "I am but a common (creature), (woman), (man), no smarter nor wiser than others. I do not fully understand my being here, but if I am but given the power to help my people, I would."

And each prophet said his speech with his own words with his own mannerisms, with his whole being.

And the Lord heard each prophet and understood.

And the Lord provided each with his own quarters with accommodations he was used to and let the prophets retire, for each and everyone of them had traveled a distance longer than any could think of.

And each prophet slept soundly, full of dreams.

And they dreamed of familiar faces and happy places.

They dreamed of scenes forgotten and their joy of everyday life.

And they learned through their dreams what they were to do.

When each awoke, they were guided back to the great meeting place.

And the Lord taught each prophet his Teachings.

And each prophet understood, in his own way of seeing the world and his own way of speaking, the words of the Lord. Each species of intelligent creature heard the words differently, but the words were the same.  Each creature believed differently but believed the same belief.

Each had faith differently, but had faith in the Lord.

And each prophet learned the words and ways of the Lord, but learned them differently.

And these different ways of believing became different religions, the beliefs fitting in within each culture and heritage.

And the Lord saw that it was good. For it is in the diversity of opinion that the truth emerges.

And for days upon days the Lord taught his prophet.

And each night each prophet learned more and wished he could be home again.

And each longed to hear the sounds of home; the clanging of air molecules in the sky, which in some worlds is called thunder, the sound of light waves hitting the skin which in this language we call heat, and other mundane sounds of home that one never notices unless deprived of their comfort.

And then one day, a long long time had passed since any of them had seen their homeworlds, the Lord told them that they were ready.

And the soul of each prophet lifted a little with the thoughts of home.

And the Lord cautioned that each would be going back to his world when his people needed him the most.

And each prophet was gladdened by the thought of home.

And the Lord charged his prophets to think deeply about his teachings and to always to think of God.

And each prophet thought deeply and fully of the Lord's words.

And then they hit upon a great Idea - all at once - for great ideas may come to many people at one time and still be completely original.

Each prophet devised rituals that would enable followers to look at a ritual object or perform a ritual practice, and thus be reminded of the Lord.

And thus each prophet now had rules and precepts that he could relate to his people and all would understand.

And so there were as a great many ways of seeing the Lord as there were of remembering the Lord.

For as there are a great many ways of belief, that are a great many ways of worship.

And the Lord saw that it was good.

And he sent back each prophet to his own time, place and world, and he hoped that the universe would be good.





Sunday, December 8, 2019

Dear Miss Kitty - Being replaced!

Dear Miss Kitty,

I am very upset.  My owner just bought a ROBOT CAT!  https://www.joyforall.com Here you can see me in the video checking out this machine.  It is soft, meows, moves one paw and lies down on it's back.  She even gave it a name!!  Silver! What kind of person names a ROBOT?  The robot lives in the box, and she takes it out to pet!  Why doesn't she pet me????
All the time, the robot cat.  It is not alive!
But it doesn't bite or scratch, it has no claws!
How can I deal with this intruder?
How can I get it go back out?


Thanks for your help!
Being replaced


Dear Rep,
Well, I feel for you my friend. Ever since Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, humans have been busy inventing all sorts of things that run on electricity.   They cook with it, use the light, run computers, and play music.  There is an example with musicians.  Before the record player (that runs on electricity) there was a big demand for musicians to play music live.  They could get jobs performing in restaurants, dances and concerts.  But now with music being on-line, live musicians are not needed.  Maybe this is what will happen to us cats with the advent of Robot cats like this one.
https://www.joyforall.com   These robots are soft, and don't make the mess that us cats do.  Maybe in some situations it is better for the human to have one of these cats.  But remember my furry, meowing friend, if you want your human to love you, don't bite or scratch.  I know that it is instinct, but they just want to feel you purr.
Is that such a bad thing?

Good Luck,
Miss Kitty

Thursday, December 5, 2019

Dear Miss Kitty - Cat Advice column

Dear Miss Kitty! 

You just gotta help me!!  My owner's daughter just always wants to pick me up and hug me, Even Kiss Me!  I can't stand it! I like my four feet on the ground and I don't like to be in the air.  I feel unsafe and I bite and scratch until I'm back where I belong!  

Help!!  
UP in the Air! 


Dear Up, 

I wish I could help you.  Some humans are like that,  you know. They see a cat and have to pet it.  Now if you were a dog, it would be a different story, you could bark.  But try not to use your claws, humans don't like to bleed too much.  

Can you calm yourself?  Go to the scratch box? 

I wish I could help you more. 

Miss Kitty 

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Dear Miss Kitty - Cat advice column!

Miss Kitty on the piano


Dear  Miss Kitty, 

This is really embarassing to write to you, I just don't know what to do! My owner always wants to pick me up, and I mean all the time!  She just has to girlhandle me and I hate it!  Most of the time I just run away and I'm afraid that she will get tired of me and put me outside and get another cat! But I can't help it!  I used to be an outdoor cat, but she saw me and caught me.  


Help! 
Squeaker 

Dear Squeaker, 

If you want my opinion and I think that you do I would put up with it.  The outside world is a hard place for cats.  Just the other day I saw a cat get hit by a car.  It was not a pretty sight, so grin it and bear it.  Stay inside and be a good housecat.  No scratching the furniture in revenge!

Good luck
Miss Kitty

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Scratch Post to give away from Ramona in Jerusalem

Hi I am doing a bit of early cleaning, and I want to give away this beautiful scraching post.  I didn't even put a paw on it and it is brand new!  Ok, well I did bat the ball a bit, but I like scrach boxes way better so if you are a cat, or if you get your owner to read this then you can get this scraching post for free.  It is located in Jerusalem. 


SMS to my owner: Rachael 0587500608 to come and pick it up! 

Friday, November 16, 2018

What? A Robot Cat? Really? Ramona answers the Robot Cat.

What do you have to say for yourself?  Hey Robot Cat!  Answer me when I talk to you! https://amzn.to/2FoJqrr

So, this human had to go and get a Robot Cat!  What does it do?  It meows, it purrs and rolls over.  
Big deal I can do that too! 
But then, I also hiss, bite and scratch.  Oh, you don't like that?  Is that why this Robot Cat is here?  What you didn't buy it yet?  Well maybe you should! Fine, be like that!  







https://amzn.to/2OMt9fp

What about this Robot cat?  It's for kids, you say.  And what does it do?  
Meows, walks, When you clap your hands, touch the cat or stamp your feet, the cat will bark and take different movement randomly.

Bark?  This cat will bark?  Well, that's definitely not a cat sound.  Although I do a cat bark sometimes.  Want to hear? 
Yes, Put me Down, Let me Go!  I gotta get out of here!

A robot cat won't mind being pet.  
Fine, so go get one!  

I don't mind, really.  

Well maybe I do.  

Huff.  

Wait, and don't forget to clean my litter box before the weekend!  

Ramona from Jerusalem 

DISCLOSURE
Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means that if you click on a link and buy the product, I will receive a very small commission of the sales price at no cost to you.




Monday, July 2, 2018

Ramona's Last time outside! - Short Story



This is me, I am Ramona and I used to be able to go outside. But I made a big mistake and now I have to stay in. 

But you want to know my story? Yes?  

I was adopted by a loving family in Jerusalem when I was a kitten.   Here is a video of when I was a kitten, I was cute?  No, more like a rat.  But no matter. I was loved and I liked music. 

But I like adventure and so when the back door would open, I would run for it and climb the pergola and whoop, out on the roof I would go.  Did I tell you that we live on the 7th floor? Yes, it is a long way down!  

This is the view from the window inside. 

But one day I was able to get out!! Glory be, it was wonderful to be up on the roof!  Fresh air, chasing pigeons, taking a nap in the sun, what more could a cat want? 

Food.  Yes, but freedom is more important! 

I was have a grand time all day, and I wasn't even hungry.  

Ohh, the wind is starting to blow!  It is getting dark!  I need go back inside, but now it is raining!  Rain! Water from the sky.  I can't go out in that!  I'm hungry now.  
Where? Oh, there is a cat sized space.  I've never been here before,  its dirty. Yuck, no food, but here's a puddle.  Tastes weird, oh well. 

Tired, Gotta sleep.  

Whoa, it is still raining. How long has it been? I don't know, but now I'm really hungry!  

Meow, Meow meow. 

Meow Meow Meow 

Nobody is here.  
Wait, there is someone, my family has come to find me, but I don't like being caught.  They brought me some food.  I'll wait until they leave and then take it. 

Meow Meow Meow 
Still raining.  It must be another day, This place is really dirty, there is a noise that I hear rummph rummph rummph  then it stops and goes again.  There is a machine that goes up and down.  Its interesting to see, but I don't want to go close. 

Meow Meow Meow 

I have to sleep here again. No soft cushions and it wet.  wet wet. 

Now I wake up and its stopped raining.  Can I go home now?  

I think I remember how to find the way back.  This way? No, yuck another dirty puddle. 

Ahh, the roof!  Here it is!  I have to find my litter box.  Gotta find the litter box.  You know a cats gotta go sometime. 

There, the porch of my family.  Zuup, zomp, zump, oh, the paws hurt that last jump was a doozy! in at last.  wow, how dirty I am, this is going to take some time to clean up. 

I was gone for 3 days?  Wow, well one moment up the stairs, litter box here I come!!!


Sunday, February 25, 2018

Cats act like . . .

Cats act
like
A snake on the prowl

 like
A tiger growl

like
a beggar with out streched hand

like
a seagull scratching the sand

like
sandpaper kiss

like
you will always miss

When they leave and don't look back.


Rachael Alice Orbach     Enjoy this video with original music and pictures





Monday, June 19, 2017

The Sayings of our Cat Mothers

We all know about the Sayings of the Fathers,  and how they tell us how to lead a good and prosperous life.

But what about the Mothers?  What about Cat Mothers?
Well, we are going to fix this gap in your education.

The Sayings of Our Cat Mothers

A cat in a bag is a bad thing.

The life you have now is better than the other 8 you might never get.

Purring is overrated.

A warm perch with the wind in my whiskers is.  It just is.

Catnip is for youngsters.  Don't bother me with that smell.  I'd rather sleep.

A comfy pillow in  a warm patch of sunlight is all I need on a cold winter's day.

Why don't I get to go out to catch birds?  Oh, I might catch one and then what do I do with it.  Hey Human, do you want this dead bird?

Veterinarians, where is one when you need one?

Who clipped my claws?  No matter I'll sharpen them up again.

One mouse in my paws is worth two that got away.

Don't count your lizards before you catch them!

Be happy you caught the lizard's tail, it tastes better and then you can catch the same lizard again!

What is the best way to relate to a German Shepard?  From a long way away!

When in doubt if fur is clean, wash everywhere!

Fur balls are no fun.




Sunday, April 9, 2017

Where have all the birdies Gone - Cat Pesach Song

We Jewish cats have Passover too, you know.  There were lots of  Egyptian cats who didn't like the idea of being killed and embalmed when their masters passed away.  So when the news was about that there was going to be a Exodus of the Jews, so many of us cats went along.   We also followed the rats and mice who left Egypt at the same time.

We were very happy to leave Egypt, no self respecting cat wants to wear a wide gold collar!

So, here is a Cat Passover song that we yowl as we eat the remains of the Jewish seder;

Sung to the tune of Peter, Paul and Mary's song Where Have all the Flowers Gone
G                              Em
Where have all the birdies gone?
C                     D
Long time passing
G                              Em
Where have all the birdies gone?
G                              Em
Long time ago,
G                              Em
Where have all the birdies gone?
C                            D
Flown south every one,
C                                 G
When will they ever learn?
C                  D            G
When will they ever learn?



Where have all the winged ones gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the winged ones gone?
Long time ago,
Where have all the winged ones gone?
Us cats have chased them every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the cats gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the cats gone?
Long time ago,
Where have all the cats gone?
Chased by dogs every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the dogs gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the dogs gone?
Long time ago,
Where have all the dogs gone?
Hit by sticks every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where have all the sticks gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the sticks gone?
Long time ago,
Where have all the sticks gone?
Burned by fire every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where has all the fire gone?
Long time passing
Where has all the fire gone?
Long time ago,
Where has all the fire gone?
Quenched by water every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Where has all the water gone?
Long time passing
Where has all the water gone?
Long time ago,
Where has all the water gone?
Drunk by cats every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?





Thursday, March 23, 2017

Reiki and Us Cats - Catki

After living with you Humans for so long, we Cats have also picked up a few spiritual practices.
One of them is Reiki.  Yes, cats have Reiki, but we call it Catki.  It is a practice that all cats do before we go to sleep.

When we find a nice comfortable place to sleep, you know it could be anywhere. I prefer a place that is soft and cushy.  I give myself a once-over and make sure that I am clean.  This is a very important point.
. .
And then lay my head down, and close my eyes.  I relax my body, even to the tip of my tail and then the Catki begins.  I  start imaging with different colors of light, starting from purple and going through each color of the rainbow until I get to the Infrared and then stop.  I call on the Only One Supreme Power of G-d  to heal me.  This is a good practice even for you Humans!

No one knows when Catki started, but all of us cats do it every time we take our naps.  You Humans wouldn't be able to guess that cats do this, but we do. That is why we don't get sick as often as you Humans do.

That is why we have to find places to sleep where we won't be bothered.   In this picture, you can see that I'm trying to get comfortable,

I hope that I won't get in trouble for revealing this cat secret.  I can take care of myself though I keep my claws very sharp!

Ramona Spotted Tabby
  

Coco and The Glass Cat

 Today my owner brought home a glass cat. The glass cat is not such a nice cat.  She was brought to life by a magician and she is not soft, ...